Russell Quigley Joins the Navy - Kindle Fiction

Russell Quigley Joins the Navy (The Misadventures of Russell Quigley Series)  
by David Griffiths

Russell Quigley Joins the Navy: Funny Stories of Life in the Navy

If you are looking for a funny book, you found it! Russell Quigley Joins the Navy is a collection of funny stories from The Misadventures of Russell Quigley. It will remind you of "Mr. Roberts" and "No Time for Time for Sergeants." If you enjoy military humor, it is a must read.

Russell Quigley

Russell Quigley was born afraid. He spent a lot of time hiding out behind the garage to avoid his father's explosive temper. Russell tried to please his father, but seldom got it right. He was rewarded with a lightning fast slap on the side of his head. He learned to follow the rules. And, if he had to follow the rules, you should too.

After an epic battle with a school bully, Russell became a bit of a paradox. He was still afraid, but he would stand up to anyone. Russell developed a sharp tongue and achieved a black belt in verbal karate.

Warrant Officer Butz put it this way: "Quigley," he said, "you are the most arrogant, condescending, self-righteous bastard I ever met."

You would not expect Russell to have any friends, but he was the champion of the underdog and the leader of the ne'er-do-wells.

Boot Camp

"Chief's ass, SIR to you," bellowed the bellicose, potbellied chief glaring down at me through the window of his white, wooden outhouse in the center of the road. Well, I didn't know much, but I knew those anchors on his collar meant he was a chief, so I said, "Sir"?

"Yes, SIR," he said. "While you are here, you will address all senior petty officers as SIR."

Yes sir, SIR," I said.

There was a bus waiting at the gate to take the recruits to naked city: "A bunch of people was standing buck-naked on the gym floor like rows of corn, but with more space between them. I was handed a cardboard box and told to undress and put all my belongings in the box." And then, we were given new wardrobes and taught how to, "Fall in."

Airman Prep School

"Knock off that boot camp shit," said the chief at the duty outhouse. "I am a chief petty officer and damn proud of it, and furthermore I ain't no SIR, and I'm damn proud of that too."

Yes, sir," I said.

When I got to the personnel office, I found out I was already on report. Ensign Bonham had felt compelled to forward all letters from the Red Cross along with a summary of the counseling I had received for refusing to pay back a loan.

"I have no use for a man that would short change the Red Cross," said my new commanding officer.


Photo School


"The heat was unbearable. The humidity was oppressive, and I was terrified of the roaches. I don't ever recall seeing a roach in Rapid City, South Dakota. They mustered in front of my bunk every evening for the sole purpose of intimidating me. It worked. I had nightmares of being carried off on a bed of roaches."


"Step to the Back of the Buss" is one of my favorite stories. To this day I miss Henry and regret the loss of his friendship.


Russell's first captain's masts came before leaving boot camp. He had two more at Airman Prep School. He lost track in Photo School and prayed the Navy didn't have a limit.


Treasure Island


Instead of a "WHOOOOSH," I got a, "WHAAAAAP! WHAAAAAP! WHAAAAAP!" Big trouble. Another captain's mast.


It is not surprising that Russell had a dozen captain's masts and a hearing for a summary court martial in his first four years. What is surprising is that after a few years as a civilian, he came back for more. He vowed to do better. And, for a while, he did.


Russell Quigley would not survive in today's politically correct Navy, but back in the day, the Navy wiped the slate clean when you reenlisted.

Laughter is good for the soul. Don't miss this fast paced comedy.

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