Skip Your Midlife Crisis - Guest Post From Author Miles Smith

Skip Your Midlife Crisis

Our legacy in business and life is almost entirely defined by the type of people we hire and/or associate with.

Be Intentional and No More Excuses

Want to know the secret to avoiding the midlife crisis? Think about your legacy from the time you start your career and take a consistent role in creating intentional action along every step of the way to that end. As Stephen Covey puts it, “Begin with the end in mind.” Many of us wait until we are in our 50s, 60s, or later to even start thinking about what our legacy will be, let alone to begin doing anything about it. Get involved in giving/serving in areas where you have talents; perhaps there are others you can mentor in a particular area within or outside your company. There may be boards you can serve on, soup kitchens you can give your time to, or many other service-oriented endeavors. Don’t wait until you have enough time or money; the truth is there will always be a little more money to earn or a few more activities to pick up that limit service opportunities. Don’t make excuses—start serving now.

Others Are Watching

If you have kids, one benefit from fully engaging in life at a younger age is that your kids will catch you serving and mentoring others when you don’t even realize it. This is something your children will not forget. Remember that others will imitate what they see you doing, not necessarily what you tell them to do. Have you heard the saying “Monkey see, monkey do”? We need to be aware of the influence we have, since leaders will always be held to a higher standard. And even if you don't have children, people watch us as leaders, especially when we least expect it, and we usually get so caught up in the moment that we lose sight of the fact that others are acutely watching our every move. We must be consciously aware of our actions and choose to exemplify positive leadership traits. When we do make mistakes, we must recognize them and ask others’ forgiveness for our shortcomings. Most people are quick to forgive if we are quick to say we are wrong and change our behavior.

A Stated Mission or Goal Provides Direction

One way to focus our lives on “beginning with the end in mind” is to write a personal and/or family mission statement. Stephen Covey, in his book Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, describes how significant it is to have a personal and family mission statement. I completely agree with his assessment. A mission statement serves as a compass to point us to “true north.” Leading an organization can be like taking a hike through wooded hills. We’re trying to go somewhere, but we can’t get there in a straight line. As the path twists up and down the hills, it’s easy to lose our bearings. In these situations, our stated mission is what keeps us moving toward our destination. Everything we do can and should be measured against the mission; does taking this or that step line up with it? My personal mission statement is “To Chart the Course, Pave the Pathway, and Light the Lane for Others to Eclipse My Own Leadership Success.” I chose this mission statement because I see my role as one who will wield a machete in order to clear the obscure, overgrown brush in leadership and shine the light on the path to show others the way to achieve greater things than I have. Our family mission is the Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M.Keith.

You are Not Your Role

We shouldn’t allow our career, titles, or roles to define who we are as a person. Allowing ourselves to be defined by the roles we fill (father, physician, daughter, teacher, lawyer, cook, salesman, machinist, etc.) will only lead to disappointment when we screw up at or get fired at one or all of them. And we are all bound to make mistakes at some point due to our imperfect nature. This is a touchy one for me, since I have always wanted to be perfect at everything I do. I desire to know everything about leading and managing people

and am not content to afford myself some slack for my shortcomings. I know I am not and can’t be perfect, but I still have that inner drive to be perfect. Allowing our entire self-worth to be wrapped up in one or more of the roles we fill will virtually ensure a mid-life crisis.

The Bottom Line

Others are watching us as leaders to see if we will lead with intentionality, won't fall back on excuses, and have a mission or goal that they can rally around. Creating action plans around what we want our legacy to be and surrounding ourselves with the kind of people that will encourage when others discourage us is the best way to avoid mid-life crisis. And believe me, many will try to discourage us, since most aren't fully engaged in life. Ideally, legacy building should start when we are young and build for the long term. But don't despair if you are recognizing the need to refocus later in life. Start where you are today and grow from there. Yesterday is past, and nothing can change it, as much as we might want to.

About Miles Anthony Smith:

Born a Hoosier, raised an Okie, and currently residing in the Frozen Tundra of Green Bay, Wisconsin, Miles Anthony Smith, a Gen X'er leader, cares enough about organizational health to make the tough decisions, hire and coach the right people, set clear expectations, develop a strong team culture, and strengthen organizational cash flow, exhibiting both humility and fierce resolve. His mission in life is “To Chart the Course, Pave the Pathway, and Light the Lane for Others to Eclipse My Own Success in Leadership.”

He’s the author of the new book Why LeadershipSucks: Fundamentals of Level 5 Leadership and Servant Leadership.