7 Keys to Making Difficult Choices - Free Kindle Non-Fiction

7 Keys to Making Difficult Choices (Set Your Boundaries Your Way)
by Stephanie Sterner 

Yes? No? Maybe?

Your boss wants you to come in this weekend, but you’ve stayed every night this week while the rest of the team went home for dinner. You’ve been asked to pick up the food for a big family celebration. You don’t mind doing the shopping, but you get the impression you’re expected to pay for it as well. What now?

We all wonder what’s best sometimes. There are times to sacrifice for others, and times to put our own needs before the demands of manipulative people. But it can be hard to tell the difference – especially when the approval of those we love is at stake. Do we drop what we’re doing to help a friend or leave her to sort out the mess herself? Do we do other people’s work for them or expect them to be responsible? How do we go about setting boundaries that respect not only our relationships, but ourselves as well?

At some point, we’ve all faced these questions. There are no easy answers. But there are principles and guidelines that can help you to make good decisions: decisions that support your values and beliefs while still taking reality into account.

Difficult Choices in Relationships

Setting boundaries is often uncomfortable; pleasing people is much easier – at least in the short-term. So it’s important to have some guidelines to help you choose between assertiveness (which can leave you feeling guilty if you’re not careful) and seeking approval. Stephanie Sterner wrote this book because so few of us understand the complexities of these choices. She knows that, in a difficult situation, you may need to address a number of issues:

• your values and beliefs about the situation;
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• whether you’re dealing with reasonable or unreasonable people;
• 
  
• the consequences of not setting boundaries;
• 
  
• the potential for missing or inaccurate information;
• 
  
• the need to accept others’ choices as well as your own limitations;
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• the many lies that run around in your head, persuading you to give away your power; and
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• the painful emotions (such as guilt and shame) that we all try so hard to avoid.

In this straightforward, concise guide, Stephanie shows you how to deal with each of these issues. Even if you’re not a people pleaser, you will appreciate her many valuable insights into the dynamics of tricky situations (and people!). The purpose of this book is not to show you how to set boundaries, although there are examples throughout. Its real purpose is to give you a new perspective, so that you’re better able to choose the boundaries that are right for you.

There are so many books on boundaries. Why this one?

Stephanie wrote this book because she has seen people struggle with these decisions, alternating between feeling guilty about setting perfectly appropriate boundaries and resenting others for expecting too much. She has also seen many authors simply tell their readers what to do rather than educating them. Stephanie knows from personal experience that no one can make these decisions for you. There is no formula for difficult decisions or relationship success. You must understand what’s really going on in uncomfortable interactions. Then, and only then, you will begin to know what’s best for you.

With this new understanding, you can take your first small steps. And with each success, you’ll feel better about yourself. As Stephanie is fond of saying, you can’t wait until you feel good enough to stand up for yourself. Stand up for yourself (even a little bit), and you’ll begin to feel good. All this time we’ve had it backwards!

If you’ve been struggling with where to draw the line, this simple little book can change your life. It can help you to identify – and to take – those important first steps.

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